First Born, Twice Exceptional.

A story, a transmission and an offering.

Imagine the freedom of experiencing your heart open through something that you used to perceive as failure, rejection or abandonment.

Imagine knowing that no matter what happens or how things turn out, that this pocket of peace inside you, that opens anyway, loves anyway, relaxes anyway -

is always within you

and can never be lost or taken away.

This is the location where you already have everything.

And subsequently, the place where everything can be created.

Perhaps you recognise this location. Perhaps you feel like you forget how to access it. Like you swing in and out of it. Or like it's elusive and fleeting, like you need to crack some algebraic code to find it again.

The one who forgets is the one who was taught to perform for safety.

Let me tell you a bit about my journey with this.

I am a first born daughter, raised in a culture that conditioned me to believe that my performance was a reflection of the success or failure of my caregivers. Of the parents who raised me and the schools who educated me.

I felt the immensity of that weight very early on in my life.

I am also what is known as twice exceptional.

The school system recognised me as "gifted" at a young age. I quickly learned - or at least perceived - that my gifted-ness was what got me attention, approval, and ultimately, love.

What was not recognised was that I had certain neuro-developmental "differences" or what that same system would call special needs.

Those needs weren't met.

And what this meant was I would invariably fail to perform at some point.

I went through my childhood hearing the excited exclamations of largely very well meaning adults about how bright I was and how much potential I had and would almost always, at some point, perceive their disappointment and bewilderment when I came up short in places where I was expected to stand out.

This registered to my child brain as one rejection after another. And the perception of Jeckyl and Hyde treatment. Where I was adored in one moment and looked at like a leper in the next.

It fucking shattered me. Over and over again. There really is no other way to put it. And I buried that pain very, very deeply inside me. I built up a truly astronomical amount of mental structure to protect myself from feeling the pain of a love that I perceived to be conditional based upon the quality of my performance.

I dragged this great boulder of a thing into my business and purpose work.

And with tools fashioned out of the same tyrannical, punishing programming that infects much of the education system that shaped me, I tried to chip away at it. It didn't work. I kept trying anyway.

And between spells of trying and trying and trying

and driving my head and body into the mud,

and really hurting myself

there were places where I'd finally give myself over to something else.

To another way of being.

Places where the hyper-critical noise of my mind went quiet.

Where my womb softened into the ground, so often held tight and pulled upwards by a a hyper-vigilant third eye.

Where creating and receiving felt innate.

When I was in this flow, it felt like the most simple and natural place to exist in the world.

But then it would seem like it left. Like I was somehow distanced from it. Like I couldn't feel the goodness of my own heart anymore. And I'd panic. Further compounding the sense of separation.

At the darkest point of these spirals I have felt as though it was impossible to just be. And backed into a corner by this mental prison, I'd question whether it not I really wanted to be here.

The split that I am describing isn't just my core fracture, I see it as the fracture of the collective. The agony of forgetting the truth of who you really are vs the ecstatic relief of remembering.

Of realising that nothing is expected of you. Nothing.

And that the iridescent current of genius that you truly are will have the space to express itself fully when you let that frightened, exhausted child inside you know that she doesn’t need to perform like a fucking caged animal anymore.

When you let her be.

I don’t think I ever knew how to be.

My personal plot is thickened by a fracture that occurred at birth, and I think that many on this path are called to similar depths of integration, because in a way, we all fracture at conception / birth. We are all tasked with coming to terms with being separated from our original nature. And many people go through their entire lives without even so much as touching it.

Simply existing and what that even is has been kind of enigmatic to me because ever since I can remember, my mind-space has been a whirl wind of constant compulsions and intrusions. I thought it was normal i.e that people generally had the same experiences as me, until I realised that I was part of a smaller fraction of the population that experience their mind and the field way more vividly.

And how do children dealing with more than the usual amount of sensory psychedelia cope in the absence of a culture that is able to initiate them?

They build elaborate mental fortresses. They exhaust themselves in an attempt to keep up with the pace of society with all the volume dials on max. They disassociate to escape from the shame of not being able to keep up.

And then, as adults, we get initiated into medicine paths that have us go in and disarm the insane structure we built in the name of soul awakening. 😉

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I brought through a course / series of experiences called ARTICULATE last year, which lays down the foundations for a purpose-driven path that reveres the current of genius, and catalyses the complete breaking down of the conditioning that blocks its flow.

Earlier in the year I bundled in this series of teachings, group mentorship recordings and extremely powerful energetic re-patterning journeys with a private one-on-one experience with me, and I’m bringing it back for a bit.

ARTICULATE is fucking brilliant. It’s my favourite thing I’ve ever made and the sessions are potent. The vibe is:

Building a foundation for your life’s work that feels nourishing and deeply connected to a set of unshakeable core values.

Preparing your vessel to directly experience energy in larger quantities and in more meaningful ways.

Having reverence for and being in relationship with the current that wants to flow through you and create out in the world.

By the end of the experience, you’ll be on the receiving end of much if not all of the following:

You’ll have shifted any stagnancy that’s keeping in you in a same shit different day situation. You’ll have more trust in your process and be more intimate with your vision. You’ll have cut through and transmuted a bunch of fear and shame. You’ll have a more profound and well-connected experience of just… being. You’ll know what the next step is, if that has been eluding you. You’ll know how to action it.

And you’ll have access to a life changing resource that will allow you to move onto the next leg of your path with a deepened relationship to the energetics that are powering it.

You can have indefinite access to the full course + a private session for £500

ARTICULATE was ordinarily valued at £555 alone.

Payments can be split in two if needed.

If you’re know you’re in for it, respond to this email / message me and we’ll get you set up and booked in. And message me if you have any questions.

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Read below for a bit more on the ARTICULATE journey and who this bundle is for.

ARTICULATE is primarily made up of three 2.5-3 hour ceremonies comprising of a teaching, some mentorship with the group I ran it with live + a somatic-shamanic journey.

Each experience serves as an individual container for a new way of being to be rooted in.

The first one focuses on values and integrity (the loving version, not the perfectionistic version) and recognising more effectively when you’re overriding yourself.

The second piece focuses on your relationship with energy and God.

The third focuses on “your life as your life’s work” and this being a precursor to FREEDOM (not a cage).

There is a fourth class at the end focused just on teaching and mentoring around engaging in your purpose work as something that feeds you internally first.

I have also included a 1hr transmission and guided journey titled I AM SAFE - which serves as the course introduction.

I have included a short piece on how to approach the journey work quite recently and would like to add in some more sections! I can’t promise times and dates on them but you have indefinite access to the course and will be granted automatic access to anything that I add to the course vault in the future.

You’re gonna want this if:

You’re a creative / business owner / artist (starting out or well seasoned, doesn’t matter) who is perhaps on the “neurologically diverse” spectrum. I really don’t love the label, but I do tend to work with people in this bracket because it remains true that we tend to be the ones that traditional, societal models categorically do not work for. We burn out more easily and our tolerance for a system that isn’t really designed that well for anyone, is a lot lower than most people. And that is a good thing, because we came to create something new.

You recognise that you are suited to a more feminine way of working and being, have been in that “mode” to some degree for some time, but have deeply ingrained hyper-masculine patterns. Don’t we all lol. And while it is so often very obvious that our A-type needs to be a little more more B-type, it can feel like an enormous leap of faith for a mind that is so used to marching along and getting shit done. I specialise in unwinding those patterns.

You resonated with the part about “astronomical mental structure” lol. You are very intuitive and know this, but there is a hyper-vigilance that can feel like it is obscuring deeper messages. The journeys are incredible powerful in getting underneath the internal alarm system and re-patterning the body’s response to perceived threat.

The private session(s) are intended to give you a tailored overview of where you are at and what you need. In some sessions I just listen and that all that is needed. In others I answer questions. In some we go in and do deeper energetic work that is bespoke for your particular system and needs.

and finally, if you are wanting to journey with me privately for longer (currently three months minimum), ARTICULATE is included. Message me to inquire about this.

Love,

Rae